Logo

I’m a 25 year old teacher teaching at boys school & I have colleagues younger than me. I caught one of my students telling her he wanted her as his teacher instead & it hurt my feelings. They compliment her a lot. It makes me jealous. What do I do?

08.06.2025 06:44

I’m a 25 year old teacher teaching at boys school & I have colleagues younger than me. I caught one of my students telling her he wanted her as his teacher instead & it hurt my feelings. They compliment her a lot. It makes me jealous. What do I do?

Teachers, despite the movies, aren’t actually there to be loved by their students. It’s not your purpose. You are there to teach, to guide to mentor and support their learning. That’s it.

They’re crushing on her instead of you?

She’s focused on friendship/likeability rather than teaching?

Why do people keep saying they have evidence and have presented it that proves you're wrong even though they have none and haven't presented anything? Furthermore, what do they think you're wrong about?

They like her teaching style better than yours?

Good teachers treat their students with respect, modelling healthy human relationships and appropriate professional relationships. You can be kind, compassionate and empathetic at the same time but ultimately you’re the adult here. Encouraging a crush is unhealthy and an abuse of power. Never do this.

Why are you jealous?

Thousands of Kroger, Albertsons grocery store workers vote to strike - KIRO 7 News Seattle

If your jealousy stems from self doubt and the belief that she’s a better teacher, despite you being older and possibly more experienced, spend time finding out what she does that seems to deliver better results or higher engagement. Are these things you can do? The best teachers have a broad range of strategies they can use to motivate, interest and engage students. They spend their career adding new ideas to their ‘toolbox’. Give yourself time.

There could be many reasons students prefer one teacher over another, and their preferences change given the subject you teach, your pedagogy, your personality, school rules, their age, their ambitions etc etc. Children can be fickle in their affections, so it’s pointless focusing on how much they seem to like you today compared with yesterday.

You’re 25 and your colleague is younger. I’m guessing your colleague is unlikely to be younger than 22. Trust me, the students won’t be seeing that 3 year gap. In their eyes you’re equally ‘old’ (‘young’ when they’re trying to flatter you).

What are some downsides to living in Newfoundland and Labrador (besides the weather)?